Five Things I’m Doing Differently in 2023

February 1, 2023

When the new year began, I made the commitment to myself to use January to take inventory of my life before setting any goals for the year.

I knew that 2023 would be a big one for me - both personally and professionally. If I wanted to feel happy and fulfilled with my year, I would need to be extra intentional with my approach.

So I ignored the noise of people boldly proclaiming their goals on January 1. I leaned inward, practiced self-compassion, and decided to honor my own process while getting clear on my priorities. And I’m glad I did.

Here are five changes I’m making in 2023:

1 - I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone at work and having fun

In 2021, my business grew fast enough that combined with personal challenges, it wreaked havoc on my physical and mental health. 

I decided to use 2022 as a year to slow down, take care of myself, and recenter. I identified two key goals of putting my personal health and wellbeing above the financial growth of my business, and getting clear on the work I wanted to do. 

Even with less revenue, I still ended the year with a healthy profit and entered into 2023 feeling way more capable and energized to take on big things. And now I am excited to have a year of boldness, focus, and ambition. 

I’m working with a public speaking coach to enhance my skills and design a keynote.

I’m continuing my favorite small group with two women who have been the most invaluable support system I could ever ask for.

I’m paying attention to the influencers and experts I follow, and calling in their brilliance and badassness (hello Marie Forleo!).

I’m reading new books to sharpen my skill sets and take my game to the next level.

I’m updating my website to highlight core services that bring me joy instead of doing the work I “should” do.

2 - I’ve started trusting in my abilities to get things done

If you’ve worked with me professionally, you know that I’m a huge fan of strengths-based leadership. I use it in nearly every client engagement, and practice what I preach.

While I am proud of my leading CliftonStrengths’ themes of Relationship Building and Influencing (they are what make me happy and great at what I do), I’ve grappled with how often my least-leading domain of Executing has gotten in my way.

While execution is not my passion, nor does it come naturally to me, I had a big discovery last year with my work small group: I am, in fact, more than capable of getting s*** done, but my limiting beliefs about my abilities to get things done is what ultimately keeps me stuck.

Once I had this aha moment, things started to shift. In addition to developing task and project management systems that actually worked for me, I started celebrating my wins. I looked for evidence that I was actually - in fact - getting things done, and used those wins as fuel for continued progress.

Today I am getting more done than I ever have before. And I’m using a go-to mantra (from my new favorite book) when fear or self-doubt sets in: “everything is figureoutable.” Turns out, it really is.

3 - I identified a word for the year that really matters to me

This year, I decided to embrace a “less is more” approach and identify one word that captured and embodied the essence of my goals.

My word for 2023 is [drumroll please…] FULLNESS.

For me, FULLNESS means making room to celebrate the beauty of life, the precious moments, and the priorities that are the most important to me.

2023 will be a big one for me. In addition to getting married and scaling my business, I’ll be moving into a new home and saying goodbye to my beloved townhome and neighborhood that have rooted me for seven years. To make things more stressful, I’m also taking care of my aging senior dog and her health.

These changes come with lots of emotions and overwhelm. And it will be that much more important for me to be mindful about how I plan and and show up for myself, so I can experience the FULLNESS of life.

FULLNESS means not looking back with regrets of how I spent my time. 

FULLNESS  means taking care of my health, drinking less, sleeping more, and spending time outside.

FULLNESS means putting away my phone when I’m at dinner with my partner, spending quality time with friends, or walking in nature with my dog.

FULLNESS means naming when I’m not okay, and embracing all of my tough emotions.

FULLNESS means booking a solo vacation for myself this fall with no other purpose than to relax, recharge, and watch the sunrise.

I deeply desire to experience the richness of life in 2023, instead of going through the motions and getting fixated on the future. And FULLNESS will help make that possible.

4 - I’m learning how to grieve and crying more

In December, I confessed to my coaching client community that I have a grieving problem. I explained that while I have a tender soul and can easily tear up at any given moment, that I rarely grieve.

This newsletter had higher engagement than any other newsletter the Thirlby Company had ever distributed - and it’s no surprise that was the case. Nearly early every human struggles with grief, but we don’t talk about it enough.

Most people assume that grief means crying because you lose a loved one, or reacting to something sad on the news.

While those are both examples of grief, I’ve learned that grief is ultimately the act of (emotionally) processing things in your life that have changed, or are not as you'd like them to be.

When we keep things bottled inside, no one wins - including those around us.

One of my biggest personal goals this year is to learn how to grieve. Trust me when I say that this takes a lot of practice.

The changes and challenges in my life this year will present me with many opportunities to grieve, and now is the time for me to embrace those moments head on - even when I want to push things under the rug.

If grieving does not come naturally to you (note: this is the case for most people), consider journaling as a first step. Set a timer and write for five minutes without stopping about things in your life that you feel discontent with or anxious about. See what you uncover.

5 - I’m getting rid of things and revamping my entire wardrobe

While seemingly “lighter” than the last four, the final thing I’m doing differently this year is making me feel a lot less heavy.

I’m in the process of revamping my entire wardrobe and getting rid of a lot of things in my home.

After 12 years running nonprofits, and three years of running my business during a pandemic (mostly out of my home), I realized that I didn’t have any clothes that I liked, made sense for my current work, or made me feel confident.

I decided that it was time for a new me.

So over the past six months, I’ve been getting rid of things. In fact, it’s resulted in three full car loads to Goodwill, and posting a few items for sale.

I am saying goodbye to anything in my wardrobe that:

• I don’t use

• I don’t love

• Is restrictive, or

• Is not a good color on me

I’ve even scheduled an appointment with a House of Colour consultant to help me understand what colors are best for me, what I can get rid of, and how I can make my spending more focused. 

My ultimate goal is to actually enjoy putting on clothes in the morning instead of dreading the process and cringing when I look at my clothes on the rack. I deserve to feel great.

. . .

If you’re thinking about being more intentional in 2023, February is an optimal time to to reflect, prioritize, and take action. The winter blues can be challenging, and tackling projects like this can provide purpose and energy as you head into the spring season.

A few questions to ask yourself:

• What matters the most to you right now? 

• Where might you go against the grain or let go of what other people think you “should” do?

• Where do you need to pause, let go, or stop “fixing”?

• When you wake up a year from now, what will make you feel proud? What will you have accomplished?

Wishing you a magnificent year, filled with fullness and bright memories.