What We Can All Learn From Gabby Thomas
by Margie DuBois, CPC
August 14, 2024
If you watched the 2024 Olympics, you may have been one of the millions of viewers captivated by Gabby Thomas, the American sprinter who won three gold medals in the 200 m sprint, the 4 x 100 m relay, and the 4 x 400 m relay.
Outside of the Olympics, Gabby has an undergraduate degree in neurobiology and global health from Harvard University, and a master’s degree in public health from the University of Texas. She volunteers at a healthcare clinic where she serves as the director of their hypertension-prevention program. She has a close circle of friends and loves her life in Austin outside of work and training.
After winning gold in Paris, Gabby shared: "who I am off the track has always come first...Your sport is not who you are."
This was my favorite quote from the Olympics, for a few a reasons.
Of course, anytime we have an opportunity to learn from Gabby Thomas, it's a win. And as a former athlete her words hit home for me. But what she shared has a lot of meaning.
Gabby's words connect with the concept of identities - the beliefs you have about the person you are related to the roles you play in your life.
Sometimes - without even knowing it - we become really attached to these labels. They become connected to our ego, the part of us that's focused on keeping us safe and getting social recognition.
With my own journey (and those of my clients), I've learned that a lot of our "stuckness" and unhappiness emerges when we start letting any one identity play too large of a role in our lives. We become terrified of making healthy changes and refuse to let go.
A common example of this is one's career identity. Maybe you're known in your community as an outstanding physician, attorney, teacher, or volunteer. You're praised for being excellent in your field and making a positive impact on others.
And then one day you discover you’re no longer fulfilled in your career or a role you have. Instead of making a change, you tell yourself you have to stay where you are to protect your image. You complain to your spouse or friends more and more, and things get worse over time.
Another example could be your role as a parent. It becomes (almost exclusively) who you are. And then one day, your child becomes an adult and goes to college or makes decisions that don’t reflect the person you want them to become. All of a sudden, your identity as a parent shifts and you don’t know who you are. And then you start obsessing about how you can help or “fix” your adult child.
Here's the truth you may not want to hear. Your career is not who you are. It's something you do. Being a parent is part of who you are - but it’s not the full picture of who you are.
When we put all of our self-esteem eggs in one basket, it’s a recipe for disappointment and an unfulfilling life.
. . .
Becoming a confident, healthy, and happy human is an ongoing process. When we get rooted in the multiple (and evolving) identities we have, we are able to navigate challenges and opportunities with greater freedom and ease.
Being an outstanding runner is not who Gabby Thomas is - it's an amazing achievement in her life. Gabby's ability to name this is part of what makes her such a special leader and human. Her confidence and success are byproducts of understanding and embracing who she is outside of running.
What identities are you wearing today? And where could you get curious or loosen your grip to discover more of the person you are?
About This Feature
Coaching Nuggets is a standing editorial feature in The Thirlby Co. Monthly Digest written by our company founder, Margie (Thirlby) DuBois, and occasional guest authors. Each nugget provides you with a quick read and resources to spark ideas and help you live your best life.
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