The One Ingredient You Need for a Successful Year
by Margie DuBois, CPC
January 10, 2024
If you’re like most people, you begin the new year with excitement, curiosity, and motivation. You feel hopeful about what’s ahead, and ready to tackle those ambitious goals.
But a couple months in, you lose a bit of steam and feel overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve made less progress than you were hoping for. By the end of the year, you look back and feel feel a bit defeated that things didn’t pan out the way you wanted them to.
If this experience sounds familiar to you, you are not alone. Most people struggle to accomplish what they want to during the year because they aren’t given the right resources to see their goals through. In fact, recent research indicates that only eight percent of people stick to their plans (Source).
So why is this so common?
For one, we’re consumers in a revenue-driven industry that sells shiny objects and promises quick fixes to problems without providing the actual tools people need to be successful.
Second, few people focus on the most important ingredient they need to achieve their goals: confidence.
I believe that confidence - the amount of trust and love you have for yourself - is what actually moves the needle on your success.
Because here’s the truth: You already know what you need to do. In fact, you might have goals written down in your journal and a vision board hanging on your office wall. But a plan is not enough.
People who take action on their goals and get positive results are not only willing to do things outside their comfort zone, but they operate with the belief that they are worthy of their success. And they use that belief to fuel them during the year.
Not sure if you have the level of confidence it takes to crush the year?
Don’t worry. Contrary to popular opinion, confidence is not a fixed attribute - it’s the outcome of the thoughts you think and the actions you take (Source). The more you practice it, the easier it gets, and the more you achieve.
So before you throw in the towel, take a bet on yourself and keep an open mind. Here are six confidence-building strategies you can leverage this year:
1 - Use data from the prior year
If your organization was drafting its annual budget or goals for the year, your team wouldn’t sit around and create things from scratch. You’d look at the previous year’s results as your starting point, and go from there.
The same case can be made for setting your own goals for the year. The memories, lessons, and takeaways from last year are brilliant data points that can inform your needs and aspirations today. Don’t make the mistake of skipping over this process - trust in the knowledge and wisdom you already have about yourself, and let it inspire your vision ahead.
Consider carving out 15 minutes to reflect on the prior year. What were your happiest memories from last year, and why? When did you feel the most stuck or disappointed, and why? What did you learn about yourself? What do you need to leave behind?
2 - Build the right support system and ask for help
Whether or not you realize it, you might not have the right team of people in place to support you with your goals. You probably have wonderful people in your life who care about you, but not everyone is a good fit for supporting every goal.
After you identify your vision for the year, think about who you want to share it with. Who are the people that have been more successful than you in the areas you’re focusing on? What qualities are you looking for in those people?
For instance, maybe you want the support of someone who models the type of leadership presence you want to cultivate at work. The quality you might need in that person is a capacity for listening and offering loving accountability.
If you want to take your life to the next level, you have to surround yourself with people who are playing big and already achieving the things you desire. Find a mentor. Hire a great coach. And make new friends along the way.
3 - Practice self-compassion on the regular
You may be familiar with the concept of self-compassion: turning compassion inward and treating yourself with the same humanity, kindness and understanding you treat others with.
Most people know about self-compassion but practice it very infrequently - in fact, they resist it. The irony is, self-compassion is a huge driver of our happiness and success.
According to the National Library of Medicine, greater levels of self-compassion are correlated with “increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure” (Source).
Another way of putting it: practicing more self-compassion will actually reduce stress in your life and call in the good stuff. If you want to achieve your goals, be sure to make self-compassion a regular priority. When you feel your inner critic creeping in, pause to notice how you’re feeling, and then speak to yourself the same way you’d speak to a good friend.
Looking for more guidance? Here are a few self-compassion strategies to try.
4 - Make “I am” statements a part of your routine
When you’re writing down your goals, you might be inclined to start your sentences with things like: “I will,” “I want to,” or “I hope to….” While those phrases make logical sense, shifting to the present tense of the person you want to become is actually what moves the needle on your confidence and success.
“I am” is an identity statement. It can be used to capture the future state that you want to achieve, and helps you build identity-based habits.
For instance, let’s say you signed up for a half marathon because you want to make running a part of your regular routine. Instead of saying “I want to become a runner,” say “I am a runner” each time you put your tennis shoes on. Or maybe you have an aspiration of becoming a published author some day. Lead with: “I am a writer.” You don’t have to believe it yet, but you have to try on the new belief in order for it to come true.
5 - Give yourself permission to change your mind
One of the drawbacks of being an ambitious (or perhaps perfectionistic) individual is that you might beat yourself up when you lose steam on a goal. You tell yourself that you’ve failed because you didn’t follow through, or try to force yourself into liking that thing that is no longer serving you. Then you might give up on the goal all together.
This year, give yourself permission to change your mind and make pivots where you need to. For instance, you might start the year with a desire to take up a new form of exercise, and then part way through the year (after many attempts) realize that you don’t actually enjoy it.
Instead of forcing yourself to stick with plan A, come up with a plan B. Choose something that better serves you and aligns with the original intent of the goal you set out to achieve. Just be sure that you are changing course for the right reasons, and feel rooted in an authentic why.
6 - Celebrate your wins along the way
A lot of people assume that celebration should only be reserved for big milestones at the end of the winding road. That can’t be farther from the truth. In fact, people who celebrate small wins regularly are more likely to increase their motivation and achieve their goals (Source).
University of Minnesota educators, Lori Rothstein and Denise Stromme, write: “The simple practice of recording your progress helps you to appreciate your small wins which in turn boosts your sense of confidence. Why? Any accomplishment, no matter how small, releases the neurotransmitter dopamine which boosts your mood, motivation and attention. It also signals you to keep doing the activity again and again” (Source).
Not sure how to celebrate? Consider starting your day by writing down anything you want to celebrate or feel grateful for. Place a celebration jar on your desk where you can add notes when good things happen during the week. Create a celebration spreadsheet with your work colleagues or friends that you can all add to throughout the year.
. . .
As you approach the new year, start small. Keep it simple. Instead of coming up with resolutions (reminder: you do not need fixing), opt for intentions - statements that invite more of the good stuff into your life. Come up with one word that captures your most important priority.
Remember that when you upgrade your beliefs, you upgrade your results. Why not you?
About This Feature
Coaching Nuggets is a standing editorial feature in The Thirlby Co. Monthly Digest written by our company founder, Margie (Thirlby) DuBois, along with occasional guest authors. Each nugget provides you with a quick read and resources to spark ideas and help you live your best life.
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