Five Habits I’m Breaking in 2025
by Margie DuBois, CPC
December 18, 2024
As the year winds down and you prepare for the new year, you might be thinking about what’s in store for you. Perhaps you have already crafted some goals or come up with a word you want to focus on. Or maybe you’re not into goals or resolutions and are playing things by ear (I fully support this, by the way).
Either way, reflecting on the year is a useful tool for gathering data about how you are doing and what you are needing more or less of. You may notice patterns that are no longer serving you, or activities that are bringing you the most joy.
The last quarter of 2024 coincided with the homestretch of my maternity leave. As a result, it’s taught me a lot about myself and illuminated the areas of my life that I still need to attend to. As I prepare for 2025 and my return to work, I’ve taken inventory of the things I need to change in order to live my happiest life and take my business to the next level.
Without further ado, here are five habits I’m hoping to break in 2025:
1 - Ignoring my intuition
In January I will officially return to work. It’s met with a lot of mixed emotions - mostly because I’ll be sending my son to daycare right after I’ve finally hit my stride as a mom, and resolved a health challenge with him.
My number one pain point as a mom has been feeling frustrated when I don’t trust my intuition for decision making with my child. My gut tells me one path is the best choice for him but I second guess myself, follow a different path, and then later regret it. I feel angry that I didn’t speak up more and (instead) prioritized loud voices who don’t know my child as well as me. At times it’s been a huge blow to my self esteem and a breeding ground for resentment.
The reality is, the ability to slow down and trust one’s intuition is a skillset many people don’t have - and it’s especially challenging for women in patriarchal cultures. It’s no wonder when we’re thrown into motherhood, we initially struggle to access our wisdom and make our opinions known. We’ve been asked to quiet our voices our entire lives and then are suddenly expected to be confident in a brand new role.
Despite these challenges, next year I will be leaning into my intuition and being a bit bolder with sharing my voice. This might look like going for one week without asking anyone else for their opinions on my son, or unfollowing mom Instagram accounts. But when the mental load is too much, I will let my partner know that I don’t have the capacity to take the lead and need him to weigh in.
To be clear, this doesn’t just apply to motherhood. I’ll be accessing my intuition with my health, business, social plans, finances, and more. Trusting that I know what is best for me and the life I want to live.
2 - Not taking my sleep health seriously
I won’t spend time sharing the data about the importance of sleep, or why it’s ultimately the most important needle mover for one’s health.
But I will tell you that despite the data, many people still struggle with sleep. We live in a media saturated world that keeps us anxious, glued to our phones, and hustling through the day. When we don’t have enough down time, we resist going to bed when we should. It’s no wonder people struggle with rest.
Next year, sleep will be the number one focus area for my health. It’s more important to me than exercise, nutrition, reading, or meditation.
I am leaving behind the habit of deprioritizing an evening routine just to watch another show, scroll on social media, or drink a glass of wine. I’m leaving behind the disappointment of not following through with my morning routine because I chose not to get in bed on time. I’m leaving behind the frustration of not getting enough work done during the day because I was too tired to focus.
In order to lean into my sleep health, I have to make it my top priority - before anything else. I can’t be a good mom, leader, partner, friend, or consultant if I’m not a well rested human.
3 - Wasting time and mental energy on people who aren’t meant for me
One time I was scrolling social media and saw a post that said (and I’m paraphrasing): “why are you so worried about what that person thinks of you? You don’t even like them.” It stopped me dead in my tracks.
As humans, we are wired for belonging. Most people want to fit in, be included, and be well liked. And if you identify as a social butterfly, achiever, or people-pleaser, letting go of what people think of you becomes more difficult.
But there’s a difference between cultivating a true sense of belonging verses maintaining inauthentic connection. True belonging exists in life giving relationships with people who appreciate you and allow you to be your authentic self.
The other day I was at a social gathering where I saw a woman who I used to be close friends with. Over the past year, she became progressively distant and cold every time we interacted, without any explanation. An old version of me would try to nurture or “fix” the relationship by chatting with her at the party. The new version of me didn’t even attempt to speak to her that night. It was ultimately a clear and kind gesture for the both of us.
Next year I’ll be phasing out of giving my time or brain power to people who don’t make me feel good when I’m around them. This includes well intentioned people who only talk about themselves, do a lot of taking (without giving), or just give off negative vibes.
Not everyone is meant for you. And you aren’t meant for everyone. And the more time you spend seeking out people who drain your energy or keep your nervous system on edge, the less happy you will be in the end.
4 - Saying “yes” to work that’s not aligned with my superpowers
If you work with me, you know I’m really passionate about strengths-based leadership. I help my clients understand their greatest superpowers so they can find deep fulfillment in their careers and make a positive impact in the world.
The irony is, sticking to my strengths as an entrepreneur has been one of my greatest challenges. I love helping others, building relationships, and solving problems. Sometimes my strengths get me in trouble because when I’m not intentional I say “yes” to things that should be a “no.”
In 2025 I’ve narrowed down my core services to a set of coaching, training, and facilitation offerings that align with my zone of genius and the people I enjoy working with the most. There will be no more custom packages that provide a bandaid solution. While it will be uncomfortable at first, I need to trust that my business will thrive and I’ll be happier in the end.
5 - Not making enough room for joy
Earlier this month I wrote about the joy deficit - an experience nearly all of my clients were having this year. In a survey, I had asked them to narrow down one area of their life that they’d like to prioritize in 2025 and they chose joy over all other topics, including career planning, leadership development, and more.
This finding sparked ample reflection on my top core value of joy, and how absent it’s been in my life this year. While I’ve absolutely had moments of joy (my son being an obvious one), it hasn’t been something I’ve intentionally prioritized. I don’t feel joy in my every day life, and that needs to change.
In addition to crafting a joyful list of the fool proof activities that bring me joy, I will be putting pen to paper about how I can align my time and priorities with my core values. And I plan to make a 2025 bucket list that I keep somewhere visual in my home.
If you’re looking to find more joy in your life but not sure where to start, consider doing this activity. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write down your most joyful memories of the year. After you are done, circle your top five brightest moments, and then start looking for patterns. What do you notice? From there you can identify key priorities and start action planning.
. . .
If you’re thinking about shaping a vision for next year, consider mixing things up. Instead of coming up with traditional goals, first think about what you could let go of. What do you need to say “no” to in order to make more room for the “yes”?
Write down a list of things that are depleting your energy or not bringing you peace. Then identify a short list of priorities that you want to focus on the most to live your biggest and boldest life next year.
And remember, the goal with all of this is progress, not perfection. Habits are hard to break, and behavior change takes time. The most important ingredients to your success are clarity, a meaningful WHY, and giving yourself grace when you hit bumps in the road.
About This Feature
Coaching Nuggets is a standing editorial feature in The Thirlby Co. Monthly Digest written by our company founder, Margie (Thirlby) DuBois, and occasional guest authors. Each nugget provides you with a quick read and resources to spark ideas and help you live your best life.
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