How to Make Fun a Priority
By guest author, Carol Fabrizio
August 2, 2023
Listen people, I went to law school and worked at a big fancy firm - so I know a thing or two about fun, mmkay?
I know that sounds paradoxical, but stick with me.
By the time I was in my mid-twenties, I was focused on billing hours and making deals happen. I worked non-stop, and I didn't sleep much. But I also had A LOT of fun, thanks to an underrated sport: Rugby.
I had so much fun because for two hours, two nights a week, I went to rugby practice, and I spent most Saturdays playing and watching rugby matches. Those games were usually followed by a social event with both teams, consisting mostly of bad bar food, cheap beer, a lot of inappropriate rugby songs, and so. much. laughter.
Rugby - whether you're on the pitch playing in the rain or a spectator having a laugh at the bar - is SO MUCH FUN.
But what IS fun, exactly?
In her book, The Power of Fun, author Catherine Price describes it as the overlap of Playfulness, Connection, and Flow.
That's what happened with rugby for me. It was a refuge. I got to play an actual game, free from distractions, with people who became lifelong friends.
It filled my gun tank over and over again.
But eventually, life took over, and I stopped playing rugby. More time to work! To travel! To be an adult!
Pure play faded out of my world in a lot of ways. But years later, I found it again - this time, because of my toddler son.
Let me tell you, watching him play at age two or three made me low-key anxious at first. Why aren't you finishing that tower? What's the point of this game? How is this productive?
It was obvious, pretty quickly, that I had forgotten what PLAY looked like. What it feels like to have time that doesn't have a purpose and isn't about achieving a goal. And I knew in my heart that is exactly what his little growing mind needed, and it was actually *me* who needed to change.
So I started observing my own thoughts a bit more and noticing how I was reacting - especially my knee-jerk desire to keep being productive and hurry him along.
And I started to practice being playful with him. I started swinging on the swings at the park. Switching games before there was a winner. Laughing at poop jokes. Playing “I Spy” in the car. And especially, having many, MANY impromptu dance parties.
I often felt ridiculous, and I had to get over that gnawing resistance to go back to something more 'productive' or 'appropriate.'
But when I did get past that resistance, I realized that I almost always felt lighter after. The stress is still there, the never-ending to do list just as long. And *I* feel better and more connected to both myself and my kiddos.
Thanks to him, play is a more permanent part of my life, and I’m so glad it’s back.
. . .
Want to have more fun but not sure where to start? Catherine Price lays out an easy acronym for how to SPARK more fun:
S - Space: Make SPACE for fun and play to happen. Put your screens away. Have some unscheduled time.
P - Pursue Passions: Find things that spark some interest in you, that are novel, that feel creative, etc. Spend some time pursuing those things!
A - Attract Fun. Find that fun friend and the go-to activities that always feel “so fun.”
R - Rebel. Skinny dipping. Wear your PJs on a zoom. Make fart jokes. Being a “little bad” is a great way to have some fun.
K - Keep at it! Learning to make time for and find FUN is a skill - just keep trying.
Or if that feels like too much, you can also consider asking yourself, in almost any situation:
What/who would bring me joy right now?
What/who would make me laugh?
What would be silly or novel?
How could I add more playfulness or more connection?
How could I be a tad more present and in the moment?
Start somewhere - anywhere - and let it be messy, let it be new and light-hearted.
And then, when you go for it - for the love of all that is holy, put your phone down.
Because when you can take yourself a little less seriously, when you can connect to your truest self and the people around you, when you can lose track of time and distractions - that is when fun happens.