Resisting the Season of Life You’re In

October 5, 2022

[Author’s Note: Last month, I shared with my coaching community about the topic of feeling resistance to the season of life you’re in. The newsletter got such a notable response that I decided to share the message with the entire Thirlby Company community in our October newsletter. I’ve made a few revisions to the original article to reflect the new month and my progress since then.]

. . .

When you think of the fall season, what comes to mind?

My first thoughts go to cooler weather, changing leaves, and spectacular hiking views.

Then my mind wanders to football season, pumpkin ale, and settling into healthy routines - heck yes.

But if I'm being honest with you, this year I really struggled transitioning to fall. Here is why…

2022 has been full of adventure and new opportunities. While there was (and is) a lot to be grateful for, I was running too fast. I wasn’t feeling rested or grounded. Summer went by in the blink of an eye, and I felt a deep sense of personal burnout and regret.

In addition, I was resisting the season of life I'm in. I was (and still am) waiting for big things to unfold in my work and life, and longing for parts of my pre-pandemic existence to return.

Flash forward to a few weeks later, I was driving around Rocky Mountain National Park with my partner on a rainy and foggy day. As we took in the mysterious scenery, I was reminded of the law of attraction. [If this concept is new to you, here's a quote by Buddha that captures it well]:

"What you think you create. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you become” (Source).

In other words: if you fixate on what's not working in your life, the Universe will absolutely send you more of that. When you are focusing on the past or the future, you are not in the present - it’s often an anxious state, which is based on things that have not (yet) become a reality. As a result, you are less likely to practice gratitude and experience joy.

The moment at the park was a gentle wake up call that I needed. I recognized that I’d been focusing on my disappointment. I was not living in the present, and was ultimately choosing not to enjoy my life.

The result? I was having a pity party in the muck.

On that day, I decided that I needed to make a conscious choice to move forward and do things differently. I would work hard to take better care of myself and enjoy each day - even the ones where I experienced disappointment.

Since then, some magic has unfolded. I’ve had my favorite memories of the year with my partner and friends. I am a lot healthier (physically, mentally, and emotionally) than I was earlier this year. I am energized when I go to work, and doing more of the work I love. I am being a lot kinder to myself and celebrating my evolution. I feel bold and beautiful from the inside out. I am having fun.

So - what has this conscious commitment looked like, more tangibly?

Here are four ways to embrace the season of life that you are in:

1 - CRAFT A MANTRA

When you're wanting to “call in” something good into your life, you can try on new beliefs that embody the future state you want to achieve (example: “I am happy and thriving at work.”). Write out your new mantra on a post-it somewhere visible in your home and say it out loud each day.

2 - DO A “YES” INVENTORY

Get out a journal + pen and write down a list of everything you are currently saying “yes" to (volunteering, social events, TV shows, traveling, late work meetings, wine, limited sleep, etc). Then go through your list and give each item a joy rating on a scale of 1 to 10. After ranking each item, spend time reflecting on your priorities. Oh and watch this video when you get a chance.

3 - PRACTICE GRATITUDE FOR 5 MINS

Get out your journal, set a timer, and write for 5 minutes without stopping. Jot down anything that you feel grateful right now - whether it be a friend in your life, your morning coffee, or a walk with your dog. See what insights come to you. Also consider a daily gratitude practice that’s a good fit for you (that you can do in 5 mins or less).

4 - REALIGN WITH YOUR CORE VALUES

If you've done coaching with me, you've done your core values assessment. Get out your values words and go through each one. See which values feel in vs. out of alignment. Then brainstorm ideas to practice the ones that feel most important to you right now. [If you haven’t done coaching, consider booking a session focused on core values.]

. . .

In order to move forward, we have to surrender, embrace the present, and manifest what we want in our lives. As you move through your own resistance, remember to choose love instead of fear whenever you can.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” - Lao Tzu (Source)